Impotent Husbands and attitude of Jamaat – Puduvayal Jamaat, Sivagangai Jamaat
Roja is a Muslim Women residing at Puduvayal at Sivagangai district of Tamil Nadu. She got married while she was 16 (just completed her 10th Standard school education). She lived with her husband for 2 months. After two months he went to Gulf country for employment. Hence she returned to her parents house and lived with her parents for 8 years. After her husband returned from gulf Roja started living with him.
Issues Of Muslim Women Addressed By Steps
During her life with him, she could realise that her husband is impotent person. Hence Roja thought that she cannot live with him. Her parents approached the Jamaat for getting divorce from him. As divorce is initiated by Roja the Jamaat looked at Roja as an eccentric. The jamaat representatives expressed his opinion that if Roja’s husband is not fit for sexual life, she can use him. Moreover he said if Roja is willing to have sex with him, he would do all possible solution in favour of Roja. Roja did not accept his desire. The role of Jamaat is to dissolve the problems of the Muslim community. The Jamaat should provide justice for the community. In such case it should hear the arguments of both the male and female involved in the problem. But the jamaat played very vulgar role by asking Roja very sensitive questions about the physical relationship she had with her husband. Roja undergone a very difficult situation in answering the questions asked by a male member of the Jamaat individually. She felt that her self dignity and self respect is questioned by them. After a long discussion with her the Jamaat provided it judgment that Roja should be penalised for not living with her husband to the tune of Rs.15,000/- for her to get divorce from him. As the words of Jamaat was the final word, Roja’s family paid the amount and got relieved of her husband.
Roja started thinking of an independent life and she worked in a shop. But the society around her could not tolerate a Muslim women living separately. Hence her parents and relations compelled her for remarriage. She married another person in 15.02.2002, by paying 65000/- as dowry and 50 pounds of gold jewels. Her family incurred an expense to the tune of three lakhs for the marriage. Roja started her life with him with lot of hope and ambitions towards future of her children. In contrast to her first husband, the second husband always wanted to have sex with her. Two years after her marriage, there was no symptom of Roja carrying a baby. Hence she forced her husband for medical test and she also undergone medical test. The result of the test was very alarming that her second husband did family planning operation 15 years before Roja’s marriage.
Roja lost all hopes in her life. Her life two men failed because of mere cheating by them. She felt that she was again cheated by another men. Hence she boldly asked for divorce from her second husband. She approached the respective jamaat for divorce and compensation. The jamaat started doubting about the physic of Roja. Because in her second marriage also she could not live with her husband. So it must be the physical problem of Roja and not her husband. Finally by showing the medical report of both of them. After several sitting with the jamaat, her husband, in front of the Jamaat said that he will pay Rs.65,000/- as compensation and for that he need six months. The jamaat said that they are responsible for collecting the money to give to Roja. After six months while Roja enquired the respective Jamaat they said that they cannot do anything in her case. While the jamaat is considered as a approving body to conduct marriage and all rituals in Islam how can they deny their responsibility while they need to act for a women. She approached STEPS in this stage and STEPS provided counseling to her and motivated her to live courageously. STEPS took legal action against him by filing a case in the police station. With the help of the police, Roja has received the stipulated money from her second husband.
Now she recollected her energy and she is working in a shop and earns money for her parents and herself. She has become most vibrant women who can provide energy to others to live courageously. She is a member of Tamil Nadu Muslim Women’s Jamaat which addresses issues of Muslim Women.